What does it mean to have a positive relationship with another person? When I think of this statement, I come up with thoughts of

Y Respect for their point of view

Y Appreciating the time spent with them

Y Recognising their individuality

Y Accepting differences of opinion

Y Knowing you can ask them for advice as you work through an issue

Y Being more than willing to offer your time and advice to them

What do you think of? Reading the last two points there, one thing to emphasise is that a positive relationship is a reciprocal thing – the relationship is based on mutual respect for each other’s rights and uniqueness as individuals.

With that in mind, what can you do to help create and maintain positive relationships in your life?  A lot of this will be based on what you bring to the relationship - what you are willing to offer, how much of you you invest in it, how much time and energy you are willing and able to give (remember, if the other person in this relationship was reading this right now, they would be getting the same message!).

Here’s a short exercise to get you started in your thinking about what you can do to create the positive relationships you want in your life.

1.  Think about a past or current relationship you believe was/is positive. This may be with a friend, a work colleague, your partner, mother
2. If you want to, write down everything you can think of to describe the things that make that relationship so good. You might write sentences, lots of descriptive words or draw symbols or pictures.
3. Next, underneath this list, write down what you believe you contribute to the relationship that must create that positiveness. Ask yourself the question: “What qualities do you have that influence the relationship with that other person?”  It will be interesting to see how many of your ideas are reflected from your first list. 

4. Okay, now lastly, think about this – how do you know that what you bring to the relationship adds to it being so positive?

  We can take so many things in life for granted and only really appreciate them when we lose or about to lose them. Taking some time and space to think about the good, positive things in our lives leads to a real sense of enrichment, which then becomes a daily reality for us. 

Building positive relationships in your life is just one of many ideas for using your time and finding some space to appreciate your life and realising what aspects of it you want to nurture and sustain. Click here to read a preview of my Special Report “Building High Quality Relationships with Others” and to purchase a copy of this Report, see the great deal on offer for you!

Do you find yourself feeling tired, lacking energy or motivation for no apparent reason at all? I sure have and it’s not a pleasant sensation, especially when there seems to be no obvious reason for all these feelings. There are all sorts of symptoms like these that are often as not telling you that it’s time to take stock of what is going on in your life. Something is causing you enough stress to result in you feeling constantly tired and lethargic. It has taken me a long time to learn how to stop and focus in on how I am feeling – what are the symptoms – and then work out why I feel like this – what is causing these symptoms? You can do this too and here are two key steps you can take right now to:

1. Clearly identify your symptoms and
2. Figure out the cause or causes of these symptoms

 Near the end of this article, I will suggest a couple of actions you could take to really start trying to reduce or eliminate these unhelpful, unhealthy symptoms and the stress factor causing them. Okay, find yourself a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and try and find a half to one hour of time to do this.

Step One: What are the symptoms?

On a piece of paper, write down words to describe as specifically as possible what you are feeling. Your list may look something like this:

• Tired
• Sore shoulders
• No interest
• Bored
• Headache
• Low energy
• Wanting to sleep
• Stinging eyes
• Negative thoughts
• Not wanting to make decisions

 When you have created your list, look back over the words to see which symptoms are physical in nature, which are emotional in nature. Strategies you can use to manage these two different ‘types’ of symptoms (physical and emotional) will differ quite markedly.

Step Two: What is causing these symptoms?

This can be the tough part as it is not always clear what is causing how you feel. You need to dig deep and really think about why you feel this way. I can’t do that for you; however, I can give you some ideas to get you started…….. 

• It may be that you have been working a lot of overtime lately and although you have felt like you coped fine, your body is now telling you it needs a break
• Maybe you have a lot of projects or tasks to complete and there never seems to be enough time to get everything done to your satisfaction
• You may be worrying about something that is unresolved. Even though we don’t always associate ‘tiredness’ and ‘lack of energy’ with worrying about something external, our bodies will again send us signals to tell us something isn’t right
• What sort of expectations do you have of yourself? Are they realistic? Are other people’s expectations making you feel overwhelmed or unworthy?

 Okay, now that you have done the more difficult parts of what is commonly referred to as “managing stress”, here a re a couple of strategies for you to try, to combat those symptoms of tiredness and lack of motivation, and also, to try and deal with the stress that is causing them.

Strategy One:

This can give you temporary relief while you still figure out what is causing the symptoms:* Keep in balance your Nutrition, Sleep and Physical Exercise. Make sure you are eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and drinking plenty of water through the day. Combine this with taking regular breaks from whatever you are doing and getting plenty of fresh air bursts.

Strategy Two:

This strategy aims to give a longer-term solution. Of course, it does depend on what your symptoms are and the cause of them. But I’ve found this one works wonders for me:Tap into your support network and talk things through with someone you know will listen and not judge you. Alternatively, start a Personal Journal and write down your thoughts and feelings using a problem solution approach to help you work through it. Don’t use this opportunity to talk (or write) around the problem. Actually talk about how you feel and why. This can often lead to you working out how to manage the stress causing your symptoms without the other person having time to offer you advice or suggestions.

There are hundreds of different stress management strategies and plenty more discussion points about why and how people react to and manage their stress in different ways. So the strategies I suggest above may not be the answers for you. You may need to explore this topic further and discover management strategies that do work for you.The main point here is that there is no point in just using a stress management strategy to get rid of stress. You first of all need to know what you are managing - the symptoms - and why you are managing them – the cause of your symptoms, therefore the cause of your stress.

To explore this topic further, I recommend getting a copy of my “Lessening the Stress” Card Game, which has over 40 different cards, each with a stress management strategy for you to use in your own life. Click here to read more about this Card Game and purchase your copy by visiting my Positively Shopping Guide.

  When you read the word “design”, it probably conjures up images of drawing pictures and being artistic. In this article, however, I am talking about mapping - deciding what you would like for your future and then “designing” the map to get you there.Of course, your map may include pictures and illustrations; just make sure it also shows a direction forward and identifies the steps you plan to take.Here are 10 Key Action Steps I suggest you consider taking as you design your map for the future: